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That's WhyI don’t talk much. I avoid eye contact. I try to get out of most conversations. Why? There are multiple reasons but a majority of the people won’t understand. I’m wondering if they ever will.
One reason is that I’m scared. I’m afraid. People constantly tell me I’m too loud or angry. So I become quiet and refuse to talk. I’m afraid that I’ll come across as really rude or just seriously angry. Like someone just broke my laptop or something. No. I’m not angry. Stop accusing me. You keep asking why I won’t open up or why I isolate myself. This is why. When you stop and understand that I can’t hear my tone of voice or volume, then I’ll speak to you. Until then, get used to silence.
Truth be told, one of my default emotions is anger. To be angry is easy. It’s easy because I have something or someone to blame, and it’s how I’ve reacted to a lot of things without realizing it. But now I just keep it hidde
To depression, for creating days without endWake up to the realization that you've been awake
for seconds, minutes, hours.
You've been awake in this warm, dark room
and you don't know how long it's been
but now you're conscious
and it starts again--
the pain, strong and steady, in your chest.
You gain consciousness in this too warm morning
and your thoughts whir in endless loops
because it's either that or face the weight in your chest.
Light breaks though the window, soft and unwelcome
but you take it as a reluctant gift--
a new distraction from the feelings awake in your chest.
Awake, but not conscious.
So you think yourself in circles a little while longer
waiting for those quiet pains
(the constant reminder)
to gain consciousness.
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More